There is a guy on the corner of Wall and Broadway who hands out NY DOLLS coupons or some shit, and today his hand went towards me, and I brushed it off... I wanted to tell him to “Truck off.” I felt like he was saying I look like a stripper or something.
I recently did portray, act, the role of a Stripper on ABC's, Life on Mars, but I have never been a stripper. I did have my share of amatuer modeling mistakes with guys with cameras and their garage but I learned that was pure BS, and real modeling doesn't happen in a basement in Queens, or in a dim lit strip club.
Strippers are not models. But sadly some think they are. I have gotten a few lap dances at Scores and let's cut to the point:I think strippers are gross. I am not just saying this because they are half naked with razor burn and have cakey makeup that stains your clothing, but because the expressions that they make as they give you a lap-dance is so nasty. So fake. Rolling my eyes at them.
I remember the girl, her eyes slant and naive, looking down at me, since I am so small her whole body almost covered mine, she was a little heavy putting all her weight on my left knee. Watched her slow movements, her finger in her mouth, the other hand, stroking my hair, she said "you're pretty." I felt like I should have said it to her back to be nice, but she wasn't that pretty. I didn't find her little thong that sexy, and instead wondered how many times she wore it without washing it. I thought of all the guys she had danced with and after the song I gave her a $20 and asked another girl in a little outfit for a drink.
I couldn't tell these girls I was a model, because they would just say to me with a hyper smile, "I am too!" I think I would have started a massive fight right there, maybe even stood up on the stage and gave a lesson on why these girls are not models.
Strippers have a choice to be more, they are girls who choose to be strippers. No matter what it is a choice.
I think daily about long term goals and how a wrong one in the short term can change my life, and when you are 30 and have been swinging on the pole for ten years or longer, what else will you have on your resume and how will you feel about yourself before you have a nervous breakdown, go into depression and feeling like your life is shit?
I think a stripper doesn't really know her real potential in life. I mean even if the girl thinks she has a nice body and is hot, ok...great...and?
And?
Maybe she doesn't have the confidence to really chase what she wants. I think there is always more you could be doing with yourself than grinding on some guy just for money. What type of purpose does that really give you? Hi, I grind people. What's your name?
If you have a nice body, and you did want to REALLY be a model, try parts modeling, or modeling for a swimwear brand, or a lingerie company, get some quality photos, and stop calling yourself, "a model" you are not. Modeling involves brands, not just having dark eye liner and the smell of an over-dose of bad cheap perfume.
Sure I will play one for a film, or Law and Order, but really spending my days or nights at a stuffy, lipstick smeared, musty strip club would make me bored as Truck.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
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