more than a model and liking who you are.

Right now the hardest question for me to answer is "what do you do." Because daily it changes.

I am more than a model and that means a lot to me, being just one thing and being defined by it is not my happiness.

My think a lot about keeping my happiness, what is happiness to me, and how I can maintain a state of "feeling mostly happy."

We don't expect things to go wrong in life, sometimes our goals can take longer to achieve that we want, and we don't expect or want the bad days, or those dry tough moments of distress, but something that will keep you sane through it, is finding peace within your self, liking yourself, and knowing you are more than that one or two things that might take up a huge part of your days.

When you ask someone, "what do you do," I find the answer to be just about their work, it is liek the "do" part of that question limits the answer to only be about what they do to make money and not enough about who they are as people or what excites them about life. The "do" is about the thing that gives them a title not defines them. I find this really doesn't explain who a person is, and it doesn't let someone get to know them at all. I think a better thing to ask if "what do you do on the weekends, or what do you like besides your work, etc."

I also think people get obsessed over their title, and can lose themselves and their worth.

These are some thoughts that go through my head:

People, especially women do not like themselves enough. To be honest I am not cocky or a bitch but I like myself, I feel lucky I am petite, I like my size (it's just the industry I work in as a model doesn't sometimes.)but I really like who I am. I notice the things that I do like. I take notice to things I know, and I like to inspire people. It is so easy to just try to like something about your self, just something, it could be any part about you, a physical part, but more, I part that makes you feel unique, and different, not the same because I feel our society and my generation is obsessed with having something more trendy, newer, prettier, and better, and it is really bullshit. If you can not mention some things you like about your self you need to work on loving you. Loving you, liking yourself makes you a happier person all around, your mood, the way you handle your goals and life, it is very important.

I make my life many things, not just one thing, I hate routines and I hate the grind, so I mix up my life by not just doing the same thing on the weekends, and not just by having the same atmosphere all the time. Especially since I do alot of pr, writing, and researching I can't handle sitting for long periods of time in the same place. Which is also why an office job isn't for me.

I try to have a backup plan all the time, and comfort the fact that in life even the contracts are not a promise, and also I do not only look on the bright side but I think a lot of the what if's, before I do something, plan something or invest time in something. This doesn't mean I don't do it, I just go into it realistic that if this doesn't work out or happen as fast as I hope, I will be ok.

I let the day go with a book, I have a moment in my day where I seperate me from everything else, and get absorbed in someone elses story. I read biographies, and I think people complain too much about their life without seeing the beauty in just being able to live and enjoy the new day, so I just have a moment at the end of the day that is mine, I read in bed and I go to sleep without only thinking about me, me, me,me, which can keep me up all night if I do.

I also sleep next to a notepad and a pen, it helps if I am stressed to write everything down, get it out of my mind, before I go to sleep.